Waiting While Walking
Last evening I was talking to somebody about the difficulties and uncertainties of taking the next step. Pick up the mail? Or walk the dog first? Thats relatively easy. However when there's a sense of a life change lurking in the background the prospect of lifting one foot, let alone bringing the other one along, seems impossible. Or can do. There is a call to make a change. What is the answer. Exactly?
I liken this situation to waiting at a bus stop. Waiting. Waiting for the bus to come. Perhaps it's raining and, heck! any bus will do surely. Or will it? Still waiting. Maybe the direction of the bus is known, but not the time or the day. Would that be the 10.45 am to Garstang, via Trough 'a Boland. Or, still waiting. Do I need to wait another three hours for the 1.45 pm, long distance, to Glasgow. And. Wait a moment. Is this the right stop? And the right day, or even year? Is the response right now to simply stay put until the rain stops, the clouds clear and the bus schedule is republished. In other words the answer to the call is to wait. Wait longer.
Taking the next step can be tricky especially when one doesn't actually know what it is. There is a call yet the details are not audible. There's no sense of when, where, what or how a move is to be accomplished?
And yet in life there is no standing still. Always there is the imperative for action. Perhaps the largest obstacle to acting in any given circumstance is fear on the one side and desire on the other. What's a person to do?
Wait while walking on? Sit still, listen and walk? The move might be as simple as making a phone call. Lots of small steps add up.
This posting is for Ruth who's taking a significant step in her life. Good fortune to you.
Thank you to Reverend Mugo and to Ruth, this really helped today. In Gassho
Dear Rev Mugo
This is so important. Thank you. Another way of looking at this is to accepet that we are constantly making decisions based on our perception of our choices. I often used to say to my children that there is no such thing as a bad choice or a good choice - just a choice which carries consequences, and we just need to deal with them, and go on to make new choices in new situations. Decide and walk on. Regret is waste. The journey goes on - a mix of boldness but sometimes fear, wisdom but sometimes foolishness and love but sometimes selfishness.
I am to be a grandparent again soon. He will be pure love amidst love but uncertainty and in time he will have choices. They will be his.
Lots of love, wisdom and courage to all who are making choices.
Nic
Tension between circumstances and feeling called to action are tricky to negotiate. I always wonder if I use my circumstances as an excuse to stay 'safe' or if my feeling called to action is unrealistic ... so I wait and I walk, which with focus becomes *just walking*.
I have just had an experience of taking a unilateral decision to end something without discussing it with anyone. Because a couple of times in my life I have needed to do this without being influenced by anyone else, so that the decision was truly mine, I think I have overdone the unilateralism. This time I realised from the reaction of someone I could have talked to, that actually the decision was not fully considered.
Sometimes someone else can point out that there may be other options or that some of the obstacles can be overcome in different ways. So, rather than drag my feet & not take steps I have kind of thrown the baby out with the bathwater by going to the opposite extreme.
I am in this position and have been for a while. Separating out attatchments from that call is so difficult. Is the waiting wise or just clinging on to the safe familear. And when the changes in prospect are big it's all the more tricky. But somehow I think that the time / the bus comes.
Best wishes Ruth, whatever the step.
As one who has changed direction a number of times, my best wishes to all who are considering next steps.
Many years ago I spent time waiting for Muni buses in San Francisco. It was wait, shiver, wait, mutter, jog in place, wait . . . . Sometimes I'd decide to start walking home and then the bus would come! Sometimes I'd light up a ciggie (please don't do this, and I quit long ago) and the bus would come! Sometimes I'd just put one foot in front of the other and walk all the way home.
Thank you, Rev. Mugo, for a lovely posting, and much merit to all who Walk On.