When my mother reached 60 she was jubilant. Any reductions for O.A.P.'s? she'd ask, fairly much anywhere she might be in with a chance. She'd be proud of me to-day since I applied for my National Bus Pass Scheme pass at the local Council offices in Hexham. Senior Citizens (over 60?) have long been able to travel free locally during off peak times. Come April 1st that privilege will be extended to cover all of England. The woman at the council offices praised the scheme, Helps them get out of the house she said, then looking at me and realizing I was about to be 'one of them' moderated here enthusiasm. Well obviously I'm talking about the elderly, not the younger ones (like you?). All taken in good part and I've not quite achieved 60 years however when I do I'll be ready to climb aboard and proudly, jubilantly, show my fancy new pass. There are amazing opportunities to be thrifty. I wonder what my dear mother would make of all this. Born in 1908, would she have embraced the Internet had she lived on?

O.A.P? = Old Age Pensioner, a term we tend not to use these days.

In March 1997, the year after my teacher died, I stayed at our hermitage in the mountains of Northern California. I'm glad I made the time to reflect on her passing and benefited greatly from the opportunity to concentrate on just sitting. Her death, like any death, brought about profound changes for those remaining. The retreat time helped me to adjust and redirect, it was however a testing time both spiritually and physically. Being out in the woods on my own dealing with the complexities of running a generator and 'fetching' the water from a distant hillside via a garden hose, not to mention the wild life, all contributed towards an interesting time! I remember particularly the day I caged a small mouse and walked three miles to liberate it so it might live, but not return? Being on retreat in such conditions is not all one might imagine, the stress of simple survival and the fear of not doing so can occupy a mind. Yes and it is sometimes 'good' to retreat in solitude, to be with oneself and 'be', especially when life changing events are calling for some reflection.

Yesterday during a conversation I remembered how I'd come out of my first retreat, in Wales as it happens, knowing I could live with myself. Not a small realization which comes in handy when sitting in stationary traffic on the M25 for unending hours. Of course knowing this is not dependent on camping out on a mountain side in bear infested woods, but it does press the issue, as does being stationary on the M25.

For those of you who have a yen to retreat alone Solitary Spiritual Retreat Facilities is a good first stop. Or if closer to home, your back garden for example, is all you can manage Shedworking is an absolute must. Or if you are bonkers about sheds anyway do take a look, but be warned reading about sheds is addictive. I was particularly pleased to see outhouses have been included on this site.

Why do some stars twinkle? Why do some cycle through yellow, cyan and magenta so impressively? Thus we ponder this evening, my walking monk companion and I. We spin on the subject of stars and colour balance and photo printing for awhile, we then move on. There is no lack of subjects to talk about as we walk in the dark. One sojourn with this monk and I have enough material for a blogging week. For some odd reason the thought of smoking a cigarette came to mind towards the end of our walk. I've not lit up for over 30 years and have no intention of starting again, however old thoughts surface, and pass. Not a problem.

Walking up the lane after meditation this evening the stars were no longer visible, the sulky moon no where to be seen. The whole valley is filled with smoke, somewhere something is burning. This is unusual and no doubt we'll hear about it.

But what is really smokin' (an American expression I believe) is the behind the scenes work on both this site and Jade Mountains. Heavens! if I hadn't been so busy this past week(s) I'd have been occupying myself trying to understand the process of the two sites becoming one site. So, very soon this page will be looking rather different. I hope you will remain patient while all of this is happening. I cannot pretend to know what this development means in practice however it feels to me as dramatic as a house on fire. What will be left when the smoke clears?

Many thanks to my friend in Texas, a fellow Buddhist blogger and all round generous chap, who is beavering away behind the scenes in his spare time. And thanks also to my walking companion who helps me unstintingly in so many ways.