Even although I invited them in, gladly, now I’m slightly put out by their presence. They are not me. They write about things I don’t write about. And what’s more they don’t write like me! In the future there will, no doubt, be more contributors taking up space. What to do? What to do?

Can I, and I guess that makes it a we since you are part of the home page of Jade, handle this growing number of people making posts. Can we accept these contributor people and what they contribute without submitting ourselves to; a dull resignation, or to nursing a dualistic mind which picks and chooses, one person over another. Lets see now, there are other options. There could be a move to evict them! On my part or on yours. Out of this house! Away to your own place! Write your own blog! No. We are tolerant people, and still there is a sense of something coming in from the outside. The other has joined the me. What to do, what to do?

Ever wondered how marriages/partnerships, or any human relationship survive? There is always the me and the not me, and the not at all like me, tension. The subtext can go something like: I love you, but keep out of my house, or as it is put into words: I’m not ready for long term commitment right now. Contributors and guest posts however are here to stay. Until something changes which will happen, sooner or later. In the mean time, there is commitment on all sides to continue to have guest contributors. What to do, what to do?

I’ve some thoughts to help deal with so called impostors. Here’s internal practice you might like to adopt. The tension of inside/outside is at the very heart of sitting still. Most people think their thoughts are noisy impostors which must be evicted before peace can be found within ones body/mind. Thoughts are not like aliens from another planet, however tempting it might be to relate to ones inner world in that way! They come and go in response to stimulus, triggered from within ones own being, as well as from the stimulating world we all live within. Even up a mountain, away from it all, there is still the shrieking of birds and the fear of..impostors? Perhaps.

In the mean time: read, sit still while reading, listen internally, listen to the wind as it blows through the temple of your body/mind (your home), allow yourself to hear the rattling of windows and the banging of doors. This is active reading, active listening and active sitting still. It’s sitting still within conditions. In this case the arising and falling of thoughts in your mind, as you sit and read this.

Have fun.

I’ve been talking to somebody recently who is caught up in a tricky situation, which is being played out rather publicly. Names and reputations, good ones, are being chewed on, dragged around and generally besmirched. Sad business. (Incidentally this is not in the world of party politics in case anybody was wondering.) There is no way anybody will come out squeaky clean. More arguments and counter arguments will only create more soap bubbles. What is the way through in this sort of situation? To defend oneself, to ignore the inevitable inner disquiet that soap opera produces? Do nothing ’till the storm blows over? Or, like the Manchester hermit in his blog today, apologise. One can at the very least apologise for ones own part in the creation of soap. Or ones part in inadvertently causing hurt to those concerned. As a meditator and one who has Precepts it’s really hard to purposefully, and consistently, create harm. Intention is the touch stone. Touching it regularly keeps one humble, and honest.

I felt a deep regret while meditating this morning so I thought I should say something. I take it as a sign of progress. It’s a funny thing, meditation. Very difficult to know if you’re doing it right. It’s very simple but also extremely difficult. The job is to try and stay with the truth, but I’m so beset by delusions and confusions that it’s often difficult to know if I’ve taken a wrong turn. The only way to really measure oneself is by an increase in loving feelings. This is a sign that my habitual self-centredness must be dissolving slightly and I can start to see things from other points of view.

It’s not something you can create or fake either. If you get on with the main work of patient observation diligently, it just seems to happen by itself that a spring of generous thoughts begins to seep through the ground. It’s very easy to be sitting there daydreaming, or circling round and round selfish or delusional ideas – and I’ve done that. The only way to know if you’re on the right path is if spontaneous kindness starts to break through. Makes you feel happy. Which in my experience makes it quite likely that crabby and irritable is just round the corner…

from An Apology – by The Manchester Hermit.