Ok With Being…..

I liked this. Inspiring confidence in others through “steady humility.” Not what I’ve been taught about leadership, where one is encouraged to appear confident even when one is uncertain or afraid.

This led me to thinking about how seeing things as they are reduces fear which, leads to confidence – perhaps? Maybe that’s the way to achieve steady humility – clear seeing?

From a comment left on this post.

Well, I thought I was going to respond to this comment and I’m now finding it quite difficult to do that. Sometimes when somebody asks a question, or in this case leaves a comment, my mind goes blank! Now is one of those moments. Try as I may no clear response springs to mind however there IS one. This can be awkward when, say, at a tea and questions session at a meditation group meeting where a whole bunch of people are gazing in anticipation of a response. The pressure to come up with something can be huge. I guess much like what’s said in the above comment, leaders are encouraged to appear confident when in fact uncertain or afraid.

Time and again I’m reminded that saying something true and honest in such circumstances can be a teaching in itself. One time years ago, apparently, I walked into an informal tea and question session and said I was feeling really rough however I thought I’d come anyway! For the person who remembered the event THAT was the teaching of the tea. Hah! she cares enough about us to turn up even when unwell. And what’s more she isn’t concerned about how she appears either. Weak and vulnerable probably. However there can be a tendancy to look at teaching, receive it, in a one sided kind of way when there is no one (right) way. For example sometimes when weak and vulnerable it’s good to not turn up. Or sometimes it’s good to turn up, keep ones backbone straight, face forwards and do the best one can. And refrain from appearing the way one feels inside. That would be different to putting on a confidence coat I think.

And so it is with simply being/living, i.e. how one is from moment to moment. There is no one way, or right way, or Buddhist way that is THE-way-to-be. It’s crazy to think we even imagine there could be. Even if we could successfully divine what that might be it would be impossible to maintain!

Sitting within oneself, maintaining a reflective interior, goes a long way to being more likely to be honest with oneself. Helps one to acknowledge what is there inside and outside. But there is no safe place given the wily ways of our human makeup. I guess you could call acknowledging what’s there as clear seeing but I’m wary about the term, sorry to say. Perhaps because it could be yet another way to be to pick-up-on and try to be that way. An example of how this can go out of kilter would be to practice see clearly and then get down on oneself when you’re ‘blind’. Perhaps you walk into a lamp post or miss a social cue, with horrible consequences. I’m for giving myself as few sticks to beat myself with as possible. So, as tempting as it might be to put on an off-the-peg coat of some particular colour it is wiser not to. It’s more truthful and more Preceptual too.

Slightly edited for clarity.

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7 thoughts on “Ok With Being…..”

  1. Lots in all this me thinks. Great doubt but not so doubting as not to be able to function, which in my experience is an other form of clinging. But the gist of it for me turns about this being aware without watching my self. Not an inner watcher adding a commentary but a silent awareness in the midst not sort of at the back. Not easy to stay there or to explain. In fact I think I am always at least a bit at the back watching if not lost in what is going on or what the internal voice has to say.

    Not so easy for me just to be and not add a bit or try to change it. Let alone to know when something is to be done or stopped. Yet something seems to emerge from the awareness around knowing which does inspire confidence.

  2. Yes I know how it is Dave. Trusting that all will be, and is well, and that your fundamental integrity is not in question (not by you or anybody else) might help. If that rings for you then good.

    We take action in our worlds all the time so it makes sense that we add, take away and generally make an impact. It is the intention behind what we do that’s the significant part. You know that of course.

  3. Good, glad what I said made sense to somebody! And I value your feedback PA. I tend to think we are on the same page in terms of how training is understood. In particular the use of the words. Some kinds of words put people into a fog of worry and confrustion (a typo worth keeping!).

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