I've a huge amount of sympathy for parents with small children. Sympathy for parents generally, especially when pushed to the limits of patience. This chap was pushed by his youngster one night and in the process realized the Bodhisattva Vow. A leap of faith to BE faith I'd say. Last night I listened to a Podcast of the 3rd Feb. episode of Womans Hour orientated towards the disciplining of children. Interesting listening for parents and anybody, the issue of smacking children was on the table.

We all encounter children in our lives and sometimes we encounter the child in the adult too! An adult throwing a full blown tantrum is something to behold. Those occasions have pushed me to simply be there with the person. Pushed past any shoulds or should nots to a place of waiting. Waiting in readiness.

Thinking about it waiting still has one as an active agent. Another way of putting that might be to maintain a reflective interior in the midst of conditions. Just sometimes when in extremity the reflective interior finds us!

In answer to an anonymous comment from a few days ago. When ever possible I get out after breakfast and walk. I'm fortunate to be able to do that. It might just be for half an hour however it seems significant to physically separate from where I work and live. If but briefly. I'm not sure why that getting-out-of-the-house is important however doing it does seems to bring a certain liveliness to my working day. Some days I have to lever myself out of the front door. Wet, grey days especially.

This morning, out walking on the light dusting of snow, I noticed boot prints with 'claws' extending out in front of the boot! A new kind of traction device for icy conditions I suspect. There were also the unmistakable signs of Yaktrax, a traction device I used in Edmonton during winter snows. But what about the car tyre tracks? Every track tells a story and clearly here was a car that lost traction and had to turn back. With some danger and difficulty.

Thinking about it we were originally designed to be on all fours. Now walking on our hind legs and traveling on round wheels we can easily run into serious trouble! We humans have of course adapted physically and mentally and for the most part can stay upright and moving forward. Most of the time anyway. And if we are using good tyres in good condition the vehicle we are in will gain traction. Most of the time anyway. Shoe traction devices are wonderful by the way.

But what about gaining traction metaphorically speaking. For the most part it almost always has something to do with acceptance, in the end. Although of course the exact meaning of gaining traction depends on the context in which the expression is used. The opposite or complimentary expression would be spinning ones wheels! When you spin your wheels, you are doing everything you can in terms of effort, but you are getting nowhere, like the car on the hill. When you gain traction, your effort is finally getting you somewhere. There are some interesting Preceptual matters going on behind these thoughts.

Did you ever feel you were getting nowhere, inter-personally, socially, politically and spiritually even? Gaining traction, being heard/understood/appreciated etc., is what one hopes for, using reason and logic, kindness for both self and others. And anything else at ones disposal. But just sometimes you know that the wheels, metaphorically speaking, have no traction. The ground is very very slippery. You know you are getting nowhere. What to do? Like the car on the slippery hill one option is to turn around and take a different route. Or retreat until conditions change and are more favorable. Increasingly, when it is practically possible, I find that stepping aside (pulling over into a lay-by) for a longer or shorter time is very effective. But not a universally wise way to go.

Just one last thought. Trying to gain traction can lead to spinning ones wheels, in a rather destructive way both emotionally and spiritually. How so? In a million ways, in every day, we are exerting influence on conditions. We are after all active agents in the flow of change. If the background intention of our interactions is towards following the Precepts, the potential harm is at best minimized. The Three Pure Precepts are 1)cease from harmful habitual action, 2) do that which is good (beyond the opposites and good/bad) and 3) do (or be) good for others. But what about the elephant in the corner?

Ah the elephant! In common parlance that would be ones personal agenda, in religious terms it would be ones personal koan. The koan arrives naturally in daily life and if it is the elephant that's trying to gain traction, predominately, then better to invite the elephant into the light, acknowledge as an old friend, accept as one you love and carry on. Better informed. Kinder, wiser and more often than not - humbler.

Sometimes people forget to switch off their mobile phones in circumstances when, if it rings, it disrupts. Phones have gone off during Dharma Talks and meditation periods and it's hard to address the disruption in a way that is both skillful and clear. Here is somebody who addressed the problem during a musical recital with skill, poise, kindness and humour.

Slovakian viola player Lukas Kmit reacted coolly when a mobile phone interrupted his recital at the Orthodox Synagogue in Presov, in Slovakia.

Rather than losing his temper, Kmit adapted the notorious Nokia theme, much to the delight of his audience.

Thanks to Paul who sent the link.

Armchair style bench

A brisk sunny afternoon bench
Walking along the street yesterday I spotted a group of youngsters eating their lunch on a bench beside the road. Much tweeting and rustling going on as well as laughter. There is nothing like sitting on a long bench with friends, perhaps with a bag of chips to warm ones hands. Memories of sitting on a park bench beside Derwent Water in the Lake District. Vegi Pasties I seem to remember, with hot tea to wash it down with. It was a grand monks day outing!

Park benches can be a great place to take a moment to be still, to regroup, settle and then move on. There is always a place to sit however making the time to do that is not so easy. Deciding to stop at a bench, or wall, to sit4amo while on a mission is a huge ask of oneself. Walking has a momentum, missions have a press to complete, arriving on time is important.

I'm finding the pre-arrangement to sit at 5.00 pm each day this month a great help. I know that I am committed to stop then and even if it's just one minute that's fine. The momentum of activity and the press to finish a task are eclipsed by my greater intention to simply stop.

See Meditation Mantra - #still4amo for background information.

Julius who sends in links quite regularly told me he is going to be on retreat for a month, starting 5.00 pm Sunday. That's today. It's not going to be an up-the-hill and off-grid kind of retreat. More carrying on daily life with work and the rest and at the same time injecting some serious intention to sit regularly, twice a day. When somebody does this I like to support them by adding more purposeful moments of sitting still in my day. Thus my still4amo mantra to remind me to - sit still for a moment! Literally. Want to join us?

I have my alarm set for 16.50 GMT to warn me to pull over if I am driving or simply find a place to sit. A bench in the street if necessary. I will then be sitting-for-a-mo at 5.00 GMT, one minute to be exact, in support of Julius's efforts. Please join us and leave a comment if you plan to be still4amo. If 5.00 pm doesn't work, choose another time. Commitment and intention go a long way, collective commitment and intention goes even further.

Morning frosts

by chilly river

...a bench.

It is thought to be helpful to meditate in the presence of others doing the same thing. If one can't sit with a group then meditating at a time when others are meditating is a good idea. In the monastery here in Britain there is a meditation period at 8.10 pm for 40 mins. I know some people aim to sit formally at that time too.

Watch Moment Meditation for inspiration.

The message? - Enjoy the simplicity in life.

See also on Impacted Nurse....always good to go to Australia from time to time to see what Ian is talking about. If you visit, be prepared to stay for a couple of hours...!