Category Archives: Falls Between the Cracks

Living Patiently

Anna, who is a Jade reader and long time practitioner within our Order, wrote me an email which I am sharing here, with her permission. The reason I’m doing so is because it offers a window on a reader’s world. Through this window we find one who overcomes multiple great difficulties with dignity and within them finds the time to express gratitude as well. Thus, as far as I am concerned, she offers spiritual encouragement. Thank you, with bows.

Reverend Master Mugo,

For days…weeks probably…I’ve had a list of topics from your more recent blog entries by my computer, entries that somehow live in my memory for a variety of reasons. Then this morning, when I read your blog’s history I realized that I wanted to thank you for taking the leap whenever you initially began this project. I always appreciate people in the culture, and in this case, monks in our Order, who are willing to walk outside the box and take us to the Dharma in a less obvious way. So, thank you for your innovations and openness and I applaud their growth and your wisdom in guiding readers through new Dharma Gates. There are so many ways in, aren’t there.

About this list next to my computer. When I first saw the green handicap parking sign and Towing Enforced I laughed aloud. For anybody who used to walk and has now periodic experiences in a wheelchair, you may not realize how relevant Towing Enforced is. I suddenly found in that sign a description for what happens on my ride from the Buddha Hall up to what a certain Reverend calls my horse barn when some brave soul–did you push me when you were here, I forget–has kindly given me a ride. I’m heavy in the chair, so nobody dawdles, but rather gains momentum and we move at quite a speed. No stopping to exchange the time of day with a pedestrian, no social exchanges, just enforced towing in reverse. And suddenly it’s all over. It’s like a major experience in impermanence–and I realize how much I enjoy walking slowly and taking in all the crinkles in the wood siding and the views out one or two windows– when I am strong enough to walk. The object of my appreciation must change quickly, and I get more and more practice in that marvelous teaching…detachment. Always letting go, always letting go.

I remember the question from students about increasing their vocabularies…how???? Read, I always answered them, read. That’s the only real way to let words learn to live inside of you. I wish I had thought of the inhaling/exhaling image. Really fine.

Somewhere in some blog about who knows what now, you ended with one of your pithy last lines…*”let go of loneliness.” Well, I still haven’t and create suffering for myself because of it and the line went like a knife straight through. There’s a blog “format” that you employ sometimes, and I admit it’s one of my favorites: some daily life story, perhaps pithy, perhaps simple [remember your vacuum cleaner duty at Throssel?], but it ends with a one liner of teaching that zaps the heart. You’re really good at that and I am always grateful for it. Like the fine Dharma talks from some weighty piece of scripture that illustrate what’s so true about the Dharma…it certainly understands the human heart.

Your recent discussion about trains and the points about excitement…I appreciate a teacher who doesn’t tell me never to get excited, although I will bow to the idea, but I like being lassoed with the responsibility to walk the middle path. In that piece I saw, or “felt” in a visceral way, the loss of true excitement when it lacks limits. Experiencing the joy is one thing…then letting it go and going on, always going on. I don’t have your text in front of me, but somehow it balanced excess while allowing some true pleasure. Ways and ways…you said….

I am so happy you went to Washington and I hope at some point you will indeed have some time in Ryokan’s hut. I found Reverend Eido’s talks renewing for me in a couple of ways. I was too ill to go to the retreat, so I missed the hands-on parts, and the parts one only really “gets” if one is present. But (a monk) recorded the Dharma talks and when I got my copy I sat in front of my computer here in my town hermitage and listened to one talk an evening. I realized that given the state of my body now, I got more out of the talks by listening to the mp3 than I would have if I’d had all the chemistry of adrenalin –both mine and other people’s–to deal with if I’d been strong enough to be present. Her greatest gift to me was to open my heart again to what is innately true for my path: art, music, language do not take one away from the Great Silence of Spirit at all, but they can be Dharma gates and reflections of our Buddha hearts. I have heard some denials of that–perhaps I misunderstood–and I was so grateful to have what is true for me affirmed.

Sheds
and stone walls…they are etched inside this damaged head of mine and I go to them sometimes for solace. No special ones, just visions of photographs that offer me quiet. Thank you for it all.

Travel safely and I hope I will see you in September, or at some point. Care for your heart, gently.

Bowing, Anna

Thank you Anna for the feedback and for giving me the opportunity to try out the Search feature on the blog. I was thus able to briskly find the articles you mention and then link to them.

This is the actual quote from the article Lonely Moon.
*Perhaps it is good to remember not to abandon ourselves to loneliness.

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Here are some (un-lonely) pebbles on a lakeside beach in Idaho. Nature has done a perfect job of arranging them; like so much in this world should one choose to take the long, and un-lonely view.

Smelling the Flowers with Fiona

To-day Fiona Robyn is visiting Jade Mountains on her blog tour. Welcome. Fiona’s new book ‘small stones: a year of moments’ has not reached my hands because we are on different continents however I have visited her blog, a small stone. Before we talk here are a couple of pictures with text to give you an idea of what the stones look like.

red_berries.jpg

The bush’s branches are clotted with red berries. From inside the house three ginger cats eye me as I walk past.

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the fur stroked out
of her silver coat
rests on her back
downy dandelion seeds
waiting to be blown away
on a -puff- of breeze
to take root in
the earth, to grow

I’d intended to do a back and forth instant messaging conversation with Fiona but the time difference and prior commitments had me writing down questions instead. They stir dim memories of exam papers, not something I’d want to inflict on anybody. But needs must…

Do you go about your day getting on with things and then at some point sit down and see what comes to mind in terms of a ‘stone’ to post. Or do you find yourself deliberately taking a mental snapshot of something in particular and then translate that into words when you sit down to write?

A mixture – but I think the best small stones come from the latter, when I see or touch or hear something and think ‘ah!’ and make a mental (or physical) note to write it up later. The alternative is trawling back through my day for something that struck me, and I find it quite difficult to capture a kind of ‘freshness’ when I haven’t made a mental note at the time.

Would you say to a certain extent you are looking out for ‘stones’, something to post about?

I do occasionally look for small stones in a conscious way, especially when I’m travelling – being in a car or a train seems to help me to open my eyes. But the ideal would be to live my whole life as if I was noticing a small stone. It doesn’t matter too much if I write them down or not, because the act of noticing them is the whole point. It helps me to engage with the world – to get in close.

The closest I get to what you do is the photographs I seem to be taking currently. I say ‘seem to’ because I can honestly say I’m not looking for anything or to convey anything through them either. Would that be where you are with writing or are you purposefully trying to say something?

Hmm – I’m definitely not thinking about what I want to convey with individual small stones, e.g. ‘ah, a homeless person, I’ll write about him to highlight the issue of homelessness’. In a way I’m trying to say the same thing over and over with every small stone – pay attention! Look at things properly! Wake up!

I know you have an interest in Buddhism. Have you anything you would like to say about that? For example from where you sit now what impact does it, the theory and/or the practice have on you in you day?

I didn’t really know anything about Buddhism when I started writing my small stones. I discovered Pema Chodron first, after finding her quotes scattered across the internet and buying one of her books, and this led me to Suzuki Shunryu, Charlotte Joko Beck, Jakusho Kwong and Natalie Goldberg. Soto Zen as a tradition probably appeals to me the most. I like the idea of non-clinging, as a way of engaging more fully with what is there, and I like the discipline of ‘just sitting’ (I have a modest practice and sit for 20 minutes in the morning). I like the idea of ‘big mind’ and of interconnection. It has become very important to me as something I continue to learn from, and although I don’t know if I’d say ‘I am a Buddhist’ I’d definitely say ‘Buddhist ideas have been hugely important to me’. I dedicated the book to Suzuki Shunryu as I was so moved by his presence through what is written about him, particularly after reading his biography, Crooked Cucumber. I hope he’d approve of my small stones, as my attempt to ‘just notice’ and then ‘just write it down’.

The late head of our Order would often encourage us to take time to smell the roses. I guess that’s what Fiona is encouraging us to do too. Thanks for the reminder.

Beware! Words On The Loose

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Visions of errant wheelchair user hurtling across the car park attached to a tow truck!

And here is an author who is Planting Words. I rather like todays posting Too Many Words

I’ve spent the morning thinking, reading and writing words. Answering interview questions for my blog tour. Reading and article about long time Buddhists. Replying to an email from a local artist I met yesterday, and checking out her blog which leads to more blogs, more blogs, more blogs.

Sometimes there are too many words.

I’ll be hosting Fiona July 9th on her blog tour for her new book Small Stones. You can see the contents on the blog of the same name.

Now all I need to do is come up with some questions for the interview and then set up a time for a live messaging session.

All Is Embraced

All can be embraced.
Nothing left out.
Nobody left out.
No matter what.

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Nova High School graduation corsage with attached plastic dead rat

Nova High School in Seattle, from which the young woman in the photograph has just graduated, has a rather strange mascot. A dead rat! From all I heard from the two youngsters who attended the school it would appear to be an exceptional one. Dead rat or no.

Nova is a small alternative high school in the Seattle Public School District, created in 1970 by students and teachers. Nova is an alternative school whose mission is to be a democratically governed learning community of broadly educated, diverse, creative and independent thinkers who work collaboratively and demonstrate a high degree of individual and social responsibility.

Published for the one who graced the house (in Seattle where I stayed last week-end) in a pink dancing costume and calm presence. May all be well with you.