Today I wrote the following in an email to a sangha friend. She is readying herself to part with her dearly beloved cat companion. Life circumstances have configured in such a way that having the cat adopted is the only real option. They have been together for many years and the parting, like any parting, is heart wrenching.
Hang in there re the cat adoption. If you would like to write about the whole business please do. I ask that because I’m starting to publish material from readers. You have a way with words and letting go of a cat for adoption, or animal of any species for any reason, is a major life event. I still think of my pony who had to go and live at a riding stable when I left home. And I wonder if he is alive or not, probably not. I wonder where is he buried and how did he die, I’ll never know? I still don’t like to think of him as dead even now. As a matter of fact I had a dream about a gray pony last night and we were having a fine old time getting to know each other. My pony was gray.
I guess our animal friends never leave us and yet all relationships must end, sooner or later.
In gassho,
Mugo
The email has been slightly edited and additions have been made.
For those who adopt, are adopted or will adopt in the future. Animal or human.
Dear Reverend Mugo,
I wonder if Peter could feature on your blog as part of my asking for merit for him? He was an old boy of around sixteen. A friend adopted him when he was about seven and had him for nine years. She moved away four weeks ago and he stayed with me (much to Matthew Cat’s disgust). Sadly he passed away on Saturday with the help of the vet. His body was in a parlous state and I feel very sad for him. I would like to celebrate his being with us and share his picture (with others).
Dear Friend,
Sure I’d be glad to publish the photograph and may I publish the information in your email please? Mugo
Absolutely. It may give others confidence to do what seems crazy but was so the right thing!
Best wishes and love xxx
Photograph of Peter the cat, recently deceased.
Reverend Mugo,
The actual process was awful. I could tell you the details if you want. It isn’t nice and easy at all. I felt bad that I hadn’t handled it well. Because the cat had only been with me four weeks I hadn’t thought about what I would do re burial etc. When the vet said “shall I take him?” I didn’t know what to do as my garden is too small and my friend suggested it would be better to let the vet take him for cremation. She was trying to be kind to me as I was distraught and traumatised. This was Saturday evening. I woke in the early hours and thought I could have buried him in the allotment and imagined him all uncared for being put in a pile of animals and treated not kindly (although the vet had said they do it sensitively). I felt he was just as important as my own cat and I wouldn’t have dreamt of letting Matthew go to be cremated without a proper send off.
Then this morning (Monday) I sat with it and asked (in meditation) if I really should ask for the cat’s body back from the vet – and the answer was ‘yes’. They were great, acted like it was a perfectly normal request. He was wrapped neatly in the red blanket I had given to the vet as he left and Peter was curled up inside like he was asleep – quite stiff so had obviously been put like that before this morning. I was able to say goodbye properly.
And strangely, I saw a neighbour as I was setting off to fetch him. When I got Peter I began to go to the allotment and something said – that neighbour lives next door to where Peter lived and perhaps he would be willing to let him be buried in his side garden. I went home and asked and he came straight out and found a lovely spot by bushes, against the wall, dug the hole for me, filled it in. Came to my garden and collected a large thin piece of stone to put on top of him and made it the right size. All this with no big fuss and a kind hand on my shoulder because of my tears.
So Peter is buried properly in a place he used to hang out in and I can say hello to him as I pass by.
What a lovely man. He loves birds and isn’t fond of cats but he did that. He knew Peter and had asked about him when his person left the village and the cat came to live with me. He said it was fitting Peter was buried there because he spent a lot of time in his garden and he had even been found once asleep on this man’s bed.
Recently I’ve been witness, indirectly via email, to a number of animal deaths. All came about through the intervention of the vet administrating a lethal injection. Anybody who has ever been in the position of having to make that decision will know how difficult it is. There are Preceptual issues. There are personal ones both practical and emotional. And there are the other people surrounding the animal and their fears, desires and issues to take into consideration.
When possible we perform a funeral for animals. This can be a simple ceremony or a more elaborate one as circumstances allow. However an animal goes be it by lethal injection or otherwise the important thing is to love them with all of ones being. And in their passing it is important not to harbour regret or self blame.
Published for all those who have been in similar circumstances.
The O.B.C. web site now has a link to Jade Mountains. This means Jade has joined the ranks of the officially recognized order temples and meditation groups listed within the International section of our website. It is the first weblog maintained by a monk of our Order to be recognized. Maybe it will be the first of many…
For an individual to have a personal website, not to mention a weblog, is a departure from the norm within my organization. So I’m especially grateful for the patience and the huge measures of tolerance extended towards my on-line efforts during the past five years.
Innovating within an organization is a testing business. A few months back I stumbled upon a great book called, The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything by Guy Kawasaki. You might think this book is all about how to start a for-profit company, not so. Innovating within for-profit and non profit organizations are equally addressed.
And Zen Master Dogen has a lot to say about getting caught up in fame and gain, he also has a lot to say about giving expression and that need not be driven by ambition.
My attention has been drawn to the Breast Cancer Fund Climb Against the Odds expedition to the top of Mt. Shasta in June this year.
At 14,162 feet, Mt. Shasta stands as the most striking mountain in Northern California and is home to California’s largest glaciers. Besides training for the peak attempt, climbers commit to raising a minimum of $5,000 for the Breast Cancer Fund’s work to prevent the disease. We provide the support to achieve both.
The Breast Cancer Fund identifies – and advocates for elimination of – the environmental and other preventable causes of the disease.
When I was a novice at Shasta Abbey in the early 1980’s I was with my ordination sister Goso in the bath-house, where speaking is strictly forbidden. Looking up at the mountain through the window she whispered, We’ll climb that one day. Sadly she didn’t live long enough for us to do that. She died in November 1986, of breast cancer.
A small girl of five was playing on some boulders during a walk in the wilderness. One came loose under her. She and the bolder rolled down a hill. When she and the 100 pound boulder came to a stop it was on top of her. The emergency services came quickly and she was set free.
The girl is now at home in a full body caste. She will be laying supine for six weeks, at least. Soon after the accident a family friend instructed her on breathing techniques to help her deal with the pain. Oh! she responded confidently, as soon as the boulder was on top of me I knew I couldn’t fight pain!
That’s a realization many take years, of painful experience, to come to. And many more years to practice that understanding.
