Monthly Archives: September 2009

Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Comfortably Uncomfortable

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Rikuko Taifu said to Nansen, “I have a piece of stone in my house. Sometimes it moves and has its being, sometimes it lies down. I would like to carve it into a Buddha, can it be done?” “It can, it can!” said Nansen. Rikuko asked, “It can be done; is that certain?” ” It can’t, it can’t!” said Nansen.
From Zen and Zen Classics (very old edition) The wording has been slightly changed.

Somebody recently sent me some writings about his feelings of inadequacy/insufficiency with regards to functioning generally. Thoughts about himself that had dogged him all his life. His feelings of inadequacy had coloured everything. What to do what to do? Then he extrapolated, in his writing, that this inadequacy coloured the deeper, could call it spiritual, levels of his inner life. Rather than being perceived as the joyous call of liberation, “going, going, going on beyond” (The Scripture of Great Wisdom) can at times sound rather relentless when one feels ill equipped.

Right at the very end of the ponderings on inadequacy came a really interesting insight. He saw that the feelings and thoughts of inadequacy had become a place known so intimately that there was a certain comfort and safety which he was loathed to leave. Who wants to leave a home lived in all of ones life, known so intimately? That’s even when one knows the roof is leaking, there is dry rot under the stairs and the doors and windows are hanging off their hinges. Who’s to convince one such as this (and that includes all of us to some extent).

This post is for the chap who this morning sat with something he usually avoids. In the intensity of what was there he found himself taking refuge in the Three Treasures, over and over again. (Yes, he just silently repeated the Three Refuges over and over in his mind.) And what was there, washed through. There is no formula for this.

See this post about self justification and confidence. And this one too.

Daily Life, Teachings

It’s Not All About The Pizza!

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Adriennes_sewing_space_0.jpg
So workspaces are meant to be tidy?

Andrew’s musings about self justification has given me pause for thought. I may well have been one of those people who raised an eyebrow at the amount of time making three pizzas takes in the Taylor-Browne household. Yet I can spend all afternoon, making completely frivolous items in my sewing workshop. Although they make me smile, and sometimes other people smile at them too, no-one could describe them as especially useful.

For many years I was full-time full-on in, what Rev Mugo has aptly named, my war zone. Then I came to Buddhism and I learnt that it was possible to stop and allow this body and this mind to become settled. The formal practice of meditation, going on retreat, talking to monks and reading the scriptures has all helped me in this process. So where does making pizzas and vintage aprons come in to it all? For me, giving myself to a simple practical task, is where I have been learning to bring meditation into my daily life. I still spend time earning a living doing work that relates to my earlier ‘war zone’. The meditation, both formal and working, has helped me to become more ‘present’ within the chaos that such work can bring.

Since I stopped working as a Probation Officer I, like maybe you Andrew, have struggled with the question what is good to do? Yet I do know that I have to do something, whether it is making a pizza from scratch, walking to work or getting the bus, making a quilt or just going travelling for a while. But to just hold that question what is good to do in my mind and to keep on asking seems to be working for me.

I have not engaged in meditation in order to cope with being in my war zone. I want to do something about myself. And yes, doubts arise, as does the wish to have some sort of justification, approval or just have someone tell me what to do. But I can let those thoughts go as I notice them arise; and I manage to do this sometimes quite easily and sometimes it’s a painful struggle.

In my previous post I had started to explore the very human wish to preserve some sort of comfort zone and to touch upon this here seems appropriate. I know what it feels like to make huge efforts to protect something that is impossible to protect. I really do not know what the future will bring and I am in no doubt about the impermenance of all things. Yet I do have to keep making decisions about what is good to do on a daily basis despite the shifting nature of existence. Thankfully, I have begun to open myself up to the knowing that it is OK to not know……..to not know the answers……..to stop the trying to…….to let go of the shoulds and musts….. to have faith… and open up to something other than my own wants, needs and desires. And I have to say It’s quite a relief!

Daily Life, Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Letting The Cats Out!

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I shared an enclosure with a friendly 20-lb. female bobcat named Little Feather, who enjoyed lap time with purring.

In this recent post, dedicated to a good friend and Dharma Sister I invite her to write about her stay at Big Cat Rescue. The following piece arrived as a comment attached to my earlier post. It’s promoted to the front page because…it’s a must read and not everybody trawls the comment section so it might missed. I hope you agree that would be a great pity.

Cats and Cats
Margaret

Thank you for the lovely post, Reverend. It happens that two recent mornings when the alarm rang, I was dreaming about cats. One, Brutus the Maine Coon; the other, Suzy the Brown Tabby who will always have a place in my heart.

About zoos, I understand Angie’s comment. My last visit to a zoo was in 1977, when the sight of the caged black leopard, pacing, was too much; but that’s not to say that zoos are bad.

Some years ago I visited the sanctuary called Big Cat Rescue near Tampa, Florida, home to around 200 cats coming from show business, circuses, folks who fancied pet puma, until puma began spraying…. Although enclosed, these cats have room to roam, trees to climb and scratch, excellent food, medical care, and open sky.

At that time they offered overnight rustic accommodation amongst the cats, in fact I shared an enclosure with a friendly 20-lb. female bobcat named Little Feather, who enjoyed lap time with purring. Paying guests were also invited to participate in feeding time by offering raw chicken drumsticks through the wire fences. The technique was to hold the leg and offer the thigh to the cat, who would take it from your hand and eat it (without hand, one trusted).

My group of 4 or 5 others was accompanied on the feeding round by a worker. All went smoothly until we reached a hungry puma (cougar/mountain lion — a type of cat with which I’d had a previous encounter but that’s another story). A fellow stepped up, chicken in hand, but backed away just as the cat was about to grab. Anyone who has ever fed cats knows that they aren’t terribly patient with chow at hand, this is serious business. The man (not a cat-person I could see) stepped up again, this time with the cat snarling, and not only backed away but dropped the food on the ground outside the fence where the cat could see it but not reach it.

Now, with kitty quite agitated, the gentleman bowed out and the worker asked if anyone else would like to try. Something wearing my body stepped forward! This was one mad cat, did I really want to stick my hand through the fence? Fear was there with me (although cats aren’t high on my fear index); right alongside of it was a stillness — in a flash kitty was devouring the food and the worker was saying, That’s the way to feed a cat!

It was a wonderful 24 hours — drifting off to sleep to the sound of lions, and tigers roaring their night-time tunes, visiting with a lovely lady lynx who jumped on my shoulders, seeing varieties of cats I never knew existed.

As for the feline in my bed, the season is turning away from summer and he’s once again curling up under the covers right under my chin, where he purrs loudly for 10-15 min. and then departs for outside, in the vicinity of the knees. At feeding time, he behaves in a manner very similar to that of the puma described above, and loudly.

Thank you again, Rev. Mugo, for letting the cats out.

Curiosities

Bobcat And Fawn

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Unlikely friends in Southern California.

Thanks to the Reverend who pointed me to this delightful animal rescue story.

Teachings

Stopping

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All is quiet in the house. Not a breath of wind, not a whisper. The building has settled. The water heating boiler switched off at 9.00 pm. The hum and swish in the pipes has been silenced. My near neighbours have settled for the night, and I’m settled for the night too. Settling takes a bit of effort though, especially if the day has been full of activity. Which day isn’t I might ask. Time to stop.

It is a matter of choice. Choosing to stop, rather than keep going on. Choosing to let the hum and swish within oneself, both body and mind to become settled. Even those who simply have no choice but to carry on, keeping going all the hours there are and more, can settle. I’ve been that person.

In the end I believe this settling is not dependent on external conditions, a quiet house for example. I don’t think it’s dependent on an inner condition either, a certain mental state such as peacefulness or lack of busy thoughts or absence of pain or discomfort. And no, I’m not going to stay up any longer to talk about settling!

Thanks to Walter in Singapore for the photograph, taken in China Town – while the Buddha looks on.