Pain. So many thoughts on pain. So many stories about personal pain. Killing pain, pain that kills. Numbing pain, pain that numbs. Tolerating pain, accepting pain. Having the confidence to be in pain. Pain as a gift and a teacher. Pain that never goes away. So very many stories about pain while I've been in Edmonton. Not because Edmonton is any more pain filled than anywhere else, it just happens to be where I am right now. There's always going to be pain where people are, where there is sentience.

Last evening there was a phone call from a congregation member. We'd said good by two years ago not expecting to meet again. I'm on a four hour leave from the emergency department. I need to get my bank business sorted and call relatives to let them know where I am. I'm due back at 8.00, he said. Err, is this really REALLY serious? Nah should be sorted in a couple of days, or so. Hopefully. We met again briefly, perhaps for the last time. One never knows. Here's a man who does pain with great dignity. Others carry their pain with a smile. With tears. With silence.

Today I saw a cause of pain, a cause from my early life. Minds remember and bodies remember. Body and mind are not separate, thus it's body/mind remembering. Places carry memories and photographers record those places so they, and the pain they carry, are remembered. That's what I intended to do as an aspiring young photographer, in the early 1960. Thankfully there are photographers in this world who do that, are doing that. Right now. In Cambodia.

There is a difference though. Between being in pain and being in suffering.

Thanks to Michael for the link.

A number of nuns from the Forest Tradition came to visit yesterday afternoon.

After a morning roped to my computer I'd climbed up the hill to sit in the sun and drink in the valley readying myself for tomorrows adventures in the sky. Seeing a monk waving me down, a small figure in the landscape at that distance, I extracted myself from my perch and made my way to meet the nuns. They were already tucking into tea, chocolate and conversation in the common room.

This is a picture of our side of the valley where I was sitting. The monastery is in the center of the picture, more or less.

....I would just like to wish you 'rruga e mbare' for your journey; loosely this is Albanian for bon voyage but better translated as 'may your way go properly' (rruga = way, mbare = properly), an expression I like and that is my wish for your travels.

From Tim. Thanks for keeping in touch. Keep on writing your blog.

Our phone conversation was coming to a close. She asked, 'Is there anything you can suggest I do to help myself during the day'? I asked, 'Well, is there anything that you can think of? There was a long pause and then the answer came. 'This might sound strange, given all that I've spoken about, however everything is well'.

Light House, South Shields Northumberland.

"Those who, either now or after I am dead, shall be lamps unto themselves, relying upon themselves only and not relying upon any external help, but holding fast to the truth as their lamp, and seeking their salvation in the truth alone, and shall not look for assistance to any one besides themselves,..."
The Buddha's Farewell.

Seeking help is not a problem, overly 'relying' on or depending upon external help is.

Be a lamp unto yourself...because you are that lamp.

The beach at Wells, North Norfolk coast. Land of ace huts.
I'll be stepping out into the great blue yonder on Wednesday bound for Vancouver Canada and then onwards to Edmonton. My itinerary is taking shape under the Schedule tab.
 

Go anywhere in Britain and sooner rather than later you will bump into the bizarre. We seem to thrive on it. I've included the three silver birch tree trunks as my own contribution. I've title that legs hundred and eleven If you have never played bingo you wouldn't understand.

One man and his sheep.

Legs hundred and eleven.

Don't ask!

These pictures were taken on Friday in the grounds of an old Abbey close to Nottingham. This afternoon a small group of us visited Kirkstall Abbey a Cistercian house close to Leeds built by the monks from Fountains Abbey.

For reasons that make no sense somebody had the idea to route the main road into Leeds right up the length of the nave of the abbey church. Those on foot, with time on their hands, carved their names in the pillars for posterity. Normal then, rather bizarre now.

(Thankfully the road now runs beside the church.)

Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
Little Gidding. T.S.Elliot

Please be assured that all is well here and the reason for sporadic postings is due to my need to concentrate on a piece of writing connected with my monastic responsibilities. This has been a collaborative effort involving working with my monastic colleagues here in Britain and also in North America. The process of working together has been an adventure and a joy. Now the text has been written the process of taking Refuge with a wider group of monks begins in earnest. I'll be traveling south tomorrow landing back in the monastery late Saturday night.

Thank you to those who have sent me gentle notes asking if all is well.

The sound of the engine changed from a purr to a full blow diesel rattle. There was no going back since we were on the final approach to the M6 Motorway heading North. If the car broke down we'd call out the break down service. Uh! no cell phone! No worries I've got mine. If we broke down we'd miss our appointment in Kendal. Going up a hill now. Are we loosing power? No, I'm just going slowly. We'd maybe not get to Throssel tomorrow. I'll need to at least have the garage check the car before we leave. If there's something seriously wrong I'll catch the train, no problem..

Privately and together we tot up the possible consequences and scenarios of one simple event. A car engine changing from it's customary and familiar purr to a worrisome rattle. We reached Kendal and parked for the day. It'll be fine when we want it. said my companion with confidence. And sure enough after filling up with petrol in the evening the car returned to its normal smooth running state. But that all of life's rattles mended so easily.

While machines rehabilitate, one way or another, we humans are rather more complicated when it comes to getting back on our feet. I have several people in mind who have had or are about to have major surgery. It'll be fine. or:

All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. Julian of Norwich

Here is a must see set of portraits of life before and after death. The photographs are on show in an exhibition that opened at the Welcome Collection in London on 9th April.

At the heart of journalism there is, or always should be, a desire to illuminate a subject worthy of examination. This project succeeded in throwing some light on to the subject that is perhaps most worthy of examination, and certainly most obscured, in human experience: the great mystery of death itself. And it's a mystery of equal significance wherever in the world you're clicking your mouse.
Guardian Unlimited - News Blog

While in London on Tuesday I met an old sangha friend and loyal reader of Moving Mountains. He now lives and works in Singapore. By a happy set of coincidences we fetched up in the same town at the same time. We met, he and his partner and I at the British Library for afternoon tea. (What a splendid place). If I were in London I'd make a point of viewing these photographs. Simply viewing them on-line is a meditation.

Like Great Western Trains and the London Underground my visa application is suffering from severe delays. Thankfully I'm not suffering severely from the delay, although I'll not be leaving these shores as soon as I'd thought.

Thanks to Julius for sending me the link.

Snow on the Isle of Wight at this time of year, or any other time for that matter, is an unlikely event. This morning we had more than a dusting however it didn't stay long. My five week stay here ends tomorrow, I could have stayed longer.

The picture below was taken yesterday in South Edmonton, Alberta Canada by a congregation member of the meditation group there. If I'm not mistaken I'm seeing snatches of Whyte Avenue between the snow flakes. Thanks to Mike.

If all goes well with my visa application and interview at the US Embassy in London on Tuesday I might be walking on Whyte in a few weeks time. Or later if the matter is delayed. It will be great to see old friends in Canada and the U.S.A.

I hear from a good Sangha friend that Tuesday is an auspicious date, something to do with the number eight. Apparently it's a very propitious day to get married in the Chinese calendar. All temples, churches are fully booked a year in advance in Singapore.

our eyes know how to see...