Monthly Archives: August 2008

Daily Life, Teachings

In a Care Home

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We visit a just-turned 89 year old woman, newly ensconced in a Care Facility. Noisy place. Wheel chairs crowd the long corridors. People call from their rooms. Care assistants roam. A woman reaches out as I pass. It’s like a movie. Wheelchair exercises. Few join in. The piano strikes up a tune as we wait for her daughter to pick us up to go for lunch. Watching the world go by….she sang along.

daughter_and_mothers_hands.jpg
Mother and daughter talk at a diner.mother_and_daughter_hands_open.jpg

We were reduced to tears when we said good by. Don’t worry about me dears, she said. I’m happy here.

Watching the world go by (watching the world go by)
Under a sunny sky (sunny sky)
Strolling ’round the park on a Sunday afternoon (Sunday afternoon)
Oh how the moments fly (oh how the moments fly)
Watching the world go by (the world go by)
When you’re with your love
Life is a beautiful tune (life is a beautiful tune)
Dean Martin lyrics

For Maggi and her daughter, and extended family. Was that really only last Thursday. Oh how the moments fly…

Daily Life, Teachings

Is That Bad?

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I shouted, The cat is outside!
She shouted back, Is that bad?
I paused….
Then I said, Well it’s not ‘good’!

Every day,
in the heat of a moment,
making an effort
to verbally navigate
duality.
While catching a cat.

The cat’s a character, she comes to the call of kibble shaken in a can.

Later, needing to illustrate a point I was making about dualistic thinking, I asked her if she heard what I’d said. No sorry, I’m hard of hearing! Then I forgot to repeat it!

Oh well, never to mind.

Overcome Difficulties

A Comment to Previous Posting

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The following was originally submitted as a comment to the posting Pre Retreat Fears.

I applaud your candor and would offer this thought: when an obstacle like this arises in one’s practice it is easy to think that something is wrong, or that we are somehow failing. After years of practice I find that aversion and resistance still arise in my thoughts and attitudes. Meditation practice “invites” stuff like this to arise, and its appearance is quite natural and nothing to be alarmed about.

Please don’t despise the part of you that is holding back. It takes a while to find the right balance of patience, gentleness with yourself and firmness. There will always be the selfish aspect of ourselves that we must train with. One day you may come to see it as a grumpy “old friend” who has come round again. With gentle persistence you will be able to coax that old friend into putting up with a bit of inconvenience for the sake of discovering something new.

I wish you the best.

I’ve published this comment because I know the author and can vouch for his practice. As a general rule I don’t publish unsolicited teaching and advice.

Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Pre Retreat Fears

2 Comments

I was touched by the candor expressed in this email, and felt others might be touched too.

Hi Rev Mugo

I was due to attend the introductory retreat this weekend but canceled Friday at 11-15am. It filled me with sadness to do that but realised that I was really dreading it. Even though I could see it was just thoughts and that it is only two nights I just could not give my self up to it. Shared sleeping (accommodation), the fixed regimen, no space to escape and all unknown and new in long days after a week at work. I’ve always struggled with ‘joining-in’, and 3 of the 4 I would have been ok with but not all 4. It’s not the sitting I feared (I sit at home for 30mins each day).

Sadness because I would like to deepen practice but also at having realised, and had to let go of, attachment to ideas of how I feel towards letting go of my ego’s demands. So I am sitting with not knowing…

Being at home this weekend will give me time to be with friends and family and help out there; they have had a tough time of late and I am thankful to have been able to help. I should remember to be who I am and not chase after who I feel I should be. How many times have I forgotten that.

I’ll sit with my difficulty with formal religion and might be able to draw on the no doubt rich experience that the community has to offer one day…

In gassho

My reply follows here:

Dear Friend,
You know your story is probably a very common one. However your willingness to share it so frankly is unusual. It’s rather easy to write about the bright and light side of life less so for times when one’s inner life is less than one might wish of oneself. You plainly recognized that the retreat was just going to be too much at that particular point in time. Things change and no doubt you have changed perspective too since writing.

What you have expressed, as I said already, is probably what a lot of people go through around attending a retreat. I know many people sign up and then cancel in the end. I’m wondering if you would be willing for me to publish your letter on ‘jade’ along with an edited version of this reply? It might help others in a similar predicament to know they are not the only one in the world to cancel out on a meditation retreat, or visit to a priory or monastery. Often there is more at stake (when taking those initial steps) than anybody could realize at the time, and that can be deeply scary without really knowing why.
In gassho,
Mugo

May the merit of this posting be offered to the friends and family of my correspondent.