I sometimes wake up at night sweating at the memory of something truly awful that I saw once. I can’t remember where or when or the context but perhaps it was in a cafe on holiday, or in a car park. A distracted guy in his thirties nearby was berating his five year old son about spilling something or some other minor problem. And then suddenly that child crumpled under some terrible unseen weight of guilt and regret, profoundly apologising for his mortal sense of inadequacy, pleading and crying out “I’m sorry daddy, I’m so sorry, I’m really really sorry”. Truly awful, I still weep for that child sometimes.
Interestingly enough I have a distant memory of witnessing a similar shocking event to the one Iain speaks about. It too was played out in public. It wasn’t that long ago I think. Ah yes! It was in Tesco’s cafe in Reading near the Priory. The dad was shouting, Don’t you ever, EVER do that again. Then, coming up really close, Do you HEAR ME? The small boy was beside himself with apologies and promises. It was a truly awful scene.
I’d quite forgotten. It happened while crossing the Bay Bridge on the way to San Francisco airport. That was nearly two months ago now. We were lining up to pay the bridge toll. A car in the next lane asked to get in our lane and go ahead of us. We indicated to let the vehicle in. When it came our turn to pay the toll there was no charge. The car ahead had paid.
Yes, I’d quite forgotten this event. Thank you stranger.
I found this quote among my notes and thought to share it with you. For many this will not be new, for others it will be.
The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity. (One is unable to notice something – because it is always before one’s eyes.) The real foundations of his enquiry do not strike a man at all. Unless that fact has at some time struck him. – And this means: we fail to be struck by what, once seen, is most striking and most powerful.
Zen Master Dogen wrote To live by Zen is the same as to live an ordinary daily life. This is not an ordinary in the everyday kind of usage and meaning. I’d say it is an extraordinarily ordinary daily life. Please don’t think about all of this too much. Life is for living; being the best person you can be, breath by breath.
Seven days a week. Meditation-ceremonies-meals-community teas-business meetings-more meals and teas-washing up-walking in the rain-talking in the rain….singing in the rain! Then there is doing laundry-washing self-preparing for ceremonies-cleaning boots-sewing robes-answering emails-multiple refuge phone calls-lay ministry business. Not to mention-medical appointments-driving people to the airport-delivering cars for repair-shopping-non medical appointments. Yes and there is sleep too. Seven nights a week.
Then there is writing for Jade Mountains. This has to be in my spare time. This tends to be when everybody else is asleep. Everybody else is asleep!
Now that I’ve landed back in the monastery again postings are likely to be less frequent and responding to comments will be patchy at best. I’ll do my best to do what I can though. And thank you for leaving your comments by the way, all of them.
I encountered the book, Into the Wild, some years ago while staying in Vancouver, Canada. If I remember correctly I stayed up half the night reading it! When I was 19 I hitch-hiked up the Alaska Highway eager for adventure and the wilderness. Thankfully I survived the whole experience and eventually returned via the inland passage to Vancouver, and then onwards to New York and England.
Thank goodness for the enormous tolerance of my parents. Bless ’em.
Happiness is only real when shared.
As reported in the film the above was found among the writings of Christopher McCandless in the old school bus he died in, alone.
Practice Within The Order of Buddhist Contemplatives