Too Much Pressure?

It has been a while since my last post and awareness of the gap has nudged me to varying degrees; sometimes the nudge has been a gentle one and at other times quite uncomfortable. My critical mind has come into play and I have felt bad at my lack of commitment. I have wriggled around and justified…..I am too busy….. I am tired……..I have more pressing matters to attend to…..I will write something later (and later never actually arrives). At other times I have just sat with feeling uncomfortable because, somehow, it is a state that I am used to.

So this pressure, which has been happening since my last post, has not been sufficient for me to actually open up a word doc on my laptop and start writing. So what has now driven me into taking action? A little bit of gentle pressure from a kind friend.

Don’t worry, I am no pushover. When this pressure was being applied I didn’t just cave in and comply. I recognise an attempt to undermine my status quo when I see/hear one. I had an immediate up-rush of resistance to defend my position. If anyone out there understands the term Mardy then I was the embodiment of being in that state. Internally I was stamping my feet, good and proper!

So I took notice of these thoughts and feelings. More accurately, I couldn’t ignore them. What on earth was I resisting, the knowledge that what I was being asked to do is good? How ridiculous! And my friend, the one exerting the gentle, kindly pressure……? I know this person has my best interests at heart.

As someone who works with parents for a living I apply kindly pressure quite regularly as a method of moving someone forward towards their goal. I get feedback from them saying how helpful being kept to account can be. So now, having had the experienced of being pushed myself, I am grateful for the experience (and blimey, for me it’s so much harder being on the receiving end than giving it out!).

So here I am, still sitting with the residue of resistance and mardiness, but glad to be writing something. And maybe…. soon …’ll hear from me again.

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4 thoughts on “Too Much Pressure?”

  1. Hi Adrianne
    Thank you for this post. It is good to hear from you. You have a really clear way of expressing things that I sometimes feel but often find somehow illusive and I really appreciate your posts. I can often find myself ‘wriggling around’ and it can take me quite sometime to really identify what’s going on. Have you any sewing projects on the go at present? Thanks again. I’ll not say I look forward to your next post . . .no pressure!

  2. Hi Julie, I really appreciate your encouraging and supportive comments.

    I will keep on keeping on with this writing stuff because something seems to ‘shift’ in me when I express things in this way and I find it beneficial. And since it is beneficial it makes it even stranger that I have been resistant. Hey ho! Such is training!

    I always have sewing projects on the go – I have been making stuffed dogs as xmas presents and since I am to be a grandma in June knitting small items as well :-)

    with bows

  3. Thank you so much for this Adrienne. It pretty well described most of what I have been feeling as well. And reading you saying it has somehow freed me to get writing too. Looking forward to hearing more from you. How strange this whole process is, isn’t it?

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