Category Archives: Overcome Difficulties

Cool Enough To Reflect On

Here is a letter to Jim published with his agreement. It serves as an introduction to Scratch a Cynic, Jim’s most recent post and it signals the teaching relationship that exists between us. Such relationships stretch both parties and I’m not sorry about that.

Scratch a Cynic takes Jim out of the garden, and off the beach, to reflect on the raw realities he lived within, day in day out in an American Police Station – for years. I can just about join him with the harshness, although it scares me, and I can understand more deeply why the conscious appreciation of garden and beach have been so significant to him. (Ones senses must be rubbed red raw in the law enforcement world he describes, breathing in the sound of ocean waves a balm.) Soon after his retirement we talked about the intensity of his War Zone work life and I remarked that, you are as one who has returned from the battle field, and your boots are still smoking! Gladly his boots are cool enough to reflect on now.

Dear Jim,
It’s finally came to me to re-read your Scratch a Cynic piece and I’ve decided to publish it. But before I do that I want to thank you for your patience in sticking with me; for listening to my difficulties with the piece, my teaching/remarks about it and still keeping on going. You might have quit and I’m so grateful that you haven’t.

Thinking about you in particular, and the other two as well, I can see how in different ways you have come out of the War Zone of your lives, and thankfully reasonably unscathed. But in a war zone you have been, undoubtedly. Over the past few years I’ve know you, and the others, the residue of excitement, buzz (and disappointments and dented self esteem) have settled and bodies and minds have renewed, and recovered! This achieved largely by going about your daily rounds in garden, farm, beach and textile heaven – dwelling at the shady end of the garden of life as I have put it in a yet-to-be-published article.

Yes, there has been more than garden and beach of course however your (Jim’s) beating of the drum has been a little slower (not much though by all accounts) and what you do now has been less war zone like. Perhaps the emergency nature of events that come up now can be related to more as a movie you visited. Rather than as being trapped in a movie theater, you only dimly knew you were trapped in.

Your article shows that however locked in you, or anybody in similar circumstances have become there is a capacity to reflect on ones actions/thoughts/feelings and to do things differently. Perhaps that’s all part of the gift that comes with the human being package. I don’t know. Anyway thanks once again for your reflections, and your willingness to stick with me as I reflect on myself. Yes, sometimes I’m difficult.
Mugo

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Like The Buddha’s Kindness

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Picture and poem for Alison and her extended family.

In my mirror,
birth and old age
sickness and death
reflect,
Sour and sweet
bitter and hot,
true sweet dew.

Into the four forms,
my body disintegrates,
earth and fire
water and wind;
emptiness.
But like the Buddha’s kindness

I am everywhere.

Excerpt from a poem by Tsung tsai, translated by George Crane from Bones of the Master.

…and for all those who find themselves in extremity.

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Comfort Zone

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High water mark – note tyre marks in the grass.

I asked someone the other day Are you applying for the new job being advertised?. She replied No, I want to stay where I am; I want to stay in my comfort zone.

It set me thinking about the tendency towards wanting to be comfortable; it’s understandable – why on earth would we want to be un-comfortable! Yet nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Buddhism talks of the impermanence of all things, so trying to create a comfort zone, trying to control our circumstances is bound to create yet more difficulties. There is no staying where I am, there is only change.

So I began to ask myself what comfort zones do I make vain attempts to preserve? And it was with this question in my mind that I went up to Northumberland with Nigel and our elderly greyhound, Lottie. As you can see by the photos posted by Rev Mugo, who we spent some time with, we were located very close to the South Tyne River. The photo in Rev Mugo’s post shows that it was lively, but shallow enough to allow two fishermen to wade out into the middle and stand there quite easily. We joked with each other about the river rising and the amount of rain; Rev Mugo wished us a dry night as she left to return to Throssel.

At 11 pm we awoke to the sound of the site owner banging on our door with the words ‘the river is flooding and you need to move! NOW!

And move we did…. as fast as we were able! With the very real danger of Nigel, who was driving car with the caravan in tow, sliding over the edge of the bank into the floodwater. The river had risen by 4 -5 feet in the space of 2 hours and, although it was dark, we could see the water clearly rushing past at a frighteningly fast rate. Thoughts like why is this happening to us? It’s the middle of the night, I don’t want to have to deal with this arose in reaction to this crisis, but I was able to drop all of that and get on with what needed to be done.

We finally managed to re-pitch on higher ground just outside the site manager’s bungalow and climbed back in our beds at around 1 am. We both lay awake for quite a while afterwards reflecting on the dangerous situation we had just gone through. It took a while to relax enough to sleep and we were both very glad that not all change is as dramatic as this. If ever I needed a reminder that nothing stays the same then this certainly was it.

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There Is Always An ‘And…’

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Bilberry a recent addition to the alpaca family.

A few years ago I wrote a piece for the local BBC Radio Cornwall which was about how sometimes when we want to help it is best to just do nothing – be there, but don’t rush in and try to make things, as we would see them, better. I illustrated this with the example of the best prescription for helping an alpaca to give birth. An authority on alpacas suggests we need two crucial items of equipment for helping at an alpaca birth – binoculars and a length of rope. The rope is to tie yourself to a fence a suitable distance away from the alpaca, the binoculars are so you can watch what is happening from a safe distance.

Well, this seemed to be a good point to make back then, and it does seem to be the case that with our expectations of how things should be we can often cause problems by jumping in and ‘helping’ when supportive and attentive inaction could be a wiser course.

Anyway, it is alpaca birthing season again here on the farm, and this year has been a fine teaching in how sometimes it is good to help.

We had four alpaca babies (technically known as cria) in four days – one a day in the short sunny spells between downpours. Unfortunately Julie (the real expert on our alpacas – I am not an animal person) was bedridden at this time having been thrown by a horse. So it was up to me to oversee birthing. The first cria made it out before I even knew anything was happening. The second needed membrane and fluid removing from over its mouth before it suffocated, the third presented with head and only one leg so needed a quick intervention to flip the other foot out in the right direction so the cria could make it out. All needed drying out and coats to cope with the challenging weather.

Which doesn’t mean the original advice about doing nothing was wrong – its just there is always an ‘and…’ Fortunately, in these alpaca births it seemed that if I was just calm and quiet, then when something needed doing it was pretty clear what it was that was needed. I’m not an animal person, so I’m not going to say the alpacas told me what needed doing, and yet…

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Two week old Bilberry.

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Taking A Risk

I have had in my mind to write about my daily practise for some time so I am grateful to Rev Mugo for asking me to contribute. Despite the up-rush of feelings of inadequacy I find myself surprisingly enthusiastic and willing to share my thoughts. Having received the email and said Yes, OK, what seemed good to do next was to give my altar a thorough clean and freshen up. I spent a whole morning polishing, dusting and rearranging, using the process as an opportunity for working meditation with the recognition that, somehow, this request had acted as a catalyst for a shift in my practise.

During my conversations with Rev Mugo, both on the phone and via email, she has been very careful not to make me feel like I ought or should contribute…no pressure…yet here it is…a gentle nudge…an opening up to the possibility that putting pen to paper could be of benefit to self and other.

I have written about my Buddhist practice in the past, generally when on retreat at Throssel as an aid to clarify and reflect. But this has been a very private thing, not shared (far too scary), and rarely revisited by myself.

For all of my professional life my focus has been on helping others with their struggles to change and improve their lives. I have written about other people’s thought processes and behaviours in depth, and often. Something I realised a while ago was that my profession as a helper of others has helped me to avoid looking at myself. This, of course, is not a simple equation… it has been a great privilege to be there to support others during their crises and I have learnt a lot. However there has been an aspect of holding myself apart from others… I am the helper – you are the helped.

Revealing myself has been something I have avoided and could have carried on avoiding had it not been for someone else’s suggestion and my willingness to trust. What I do know is that in revealing myself I am not losing anything… there is nothing to be lost.

And still anything I write could just exist between myself and Rev Mugo and used as another form of my studies with her. What are the benefits of going public in this medium? The only way to find out is to do it!

So, kind readers, this is me…giving it a go…taking a risk and trusting myself to all of you that visit Jade Mountains, and perhaps connect with what I have to say.

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