I have had in my mind to write about my daily practise for some time so I am grateful to Rev Mugo for asking me to contribute. Despite the up-rush of feelings of inadequacy I find myself surprisingly enthusiastic and willing to share my thoughts. Having received the email and said Yes, OK, what seemed good to do next was to give my altar a thorough clean and freshen up. I spent a whole morning polishing, dusting and rearranging, using the process as an opportunity for working meditation with the recognition that, somehow, this request had acted as a catalyst for a shift in my practise.
During my conversations with Rev Mugo, both on the phone and via email, she has been very careful not to make me feel like I ought or should contribute…no pressure…yet here it is…a gentle nudge…an opening up to the possibility that putting pen to paper could be of benefit to self and other.
I have written about my Buddhist practice in the past, generally when on retreat at Throssel as an aid to clarify and reflect. But this has been a very private thing, not shared (far too scary), and rarely revisited by myself.
For all of my professional life my focus has been on helping others with their struggles to change and improve their lives. I have written about other people’s thought processes and behaviours in depth, and often. Something I realised a while ago was that my profession as a helper of others has helped me to avoid looking at myself. This, of course, is not a simple equation… it has been a great privilege to be there to support others during their crises and I have learnt a lot. However there has been an aspect of holding myself apart from others… I am the helper – you are the helped.
Revealing myself has been something I have avoided and could have carried on avoiding had it not been for someone else’s suggestion and my willingness to trust. What I do know is that in revealing myself I am not losing anything… there is nothing to be lost.
And still anything I write could just exist between myself and Rev Mugo and used as another form of my studies with her. What are the benefits of going public in this medium? The only way to find out is to do it!
So, kind readers, this is me…giving it a go…taking a risk and trusting myself to all of you that visit Jade Mountains, and perhaps connect with what I have to say.