Yearly Archives: 2009

Films/Books, Teachings

‘Weather’ Patterns

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Here’s a snippet overheard in the mill of monks in the cloister after morning service this morning:

…it depends on which side of the divide we are on.

That’s our unofficial weather monk at work. Here in the middle of the country we can catch the weather coming from the West, from the East, or from all-directions-at-once! Our weather monks’ authoritative forecasts, gleaned from the BBC, have me assured that somebody knows what might happen.

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Turning to the East…

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turning to the West…

Coming back from shopping in Hexham or Newcastle, or latterly coming from the west, with the valley rounding into sight our weather is all our own. Sun glancing across the folds, walls and farms with the high moors raining. Or, and I believe this happens more often than we know, our valley is beset with a storm while all around – sunshine. Did you see the hail Rev. Mugo! and I think having just returned: Yep like golf balls, and only here in the West Allen Valley too!

Nobody wants to think, or believe, they live in severe weather conditions. It can drag one down, mentally, emotionally and physically too. (There is an informal understanding here that we don’t complain about the wind, or that’s what I remember and endeavor to refrain from complaining – at the very least, out loud.)

As a young monk my Master, during informal teas, would have a chuckle about The Beverly Hillbillies and the permanent storm cloud which hovered over their truck where ever they went. The teaching, intended or not, was obvious and memorable. It had most of us privately checking ourselves for personal clouds!

I’ve a book beside me, Time by Andy Goldsworthy. The following is from the first chapter, Time, Change, Place:

Time and change are connected to place. Real change is best understood by staying in one place. When I travel, I see differences rather than change. I resent travelling south in early spring in case I am away from home when I see my first tree coming into leaf. If this happens, I see the leaves, but not the growth or change.

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…returning here.

Our minds tend to make that which is impermanent, and therefore changing, into something permanent. Andy Goldsworthy‘s book of photographs is about, time…and change. The images are oddly disturbing.

Daily Life, Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Taking A Risk

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I have had in my mind to write about my daily practise for some time so I am grateful to Rev Mugo for asking me to contribute. Despite the up-rush of feelings of inadequacy I find myself surprisingly enthusiastic and willing to share my thoughts. Having received the email and said Yes, OK, what seemed good to do next was to give my altar a thorough clean and freshen up. I spent a whole morning polishing, dusting and rearranging, using the process as an opportunity for working meditation with the recognition that, somehow, this request had acted as a catalyst for a shift in my practise.

During my conversations with Rev Mugo, both on the phone and via email, she has been very careful not to make me feel like I ought or should contribute…no pressure…yet here it is…a gentle nudge…an opening up to the possibility that putting pen to paper could be of benefit to self and other.

I have written about my Buddhist practice in the past, generally when on retreat at Throssel as an aid to clarify and reflect. But this has been a very private thing, not shared (far too scary), and rarely revisited by myself.

For all of my professional life my focus has been on helping others with their struggles to change and improve their lives. I have written about other people’s thought processes and behaviours in depth, and often. Something I realised a while ago was that my profession as a helper of others has helped me to avoid looking at myself. This, of course, is not a simple equation… it has been a great privilege to be there to support others during their crises and I have learnt a lot. However there has been an aspect of holding myself apart from others… I am the helper – you are the helped.

Revealing myself has been something I have avoided and could have carried on avoiding had it not been for someone else’s suggestion and my willingness to trust. What I do know is that in revealing myself I am not losing anything… there is nothing to be lost.

And still anything I write could just exist between myself and Rev Mugo and used as another form of my studies with her. What are the benefits of going public in this medium? The only way to find out is to do it!

So, kind readers, this is me…giving it a go…taking a risk and trusting myself to all of you that visit Jade Mountains, and perhaps connect with what I have to say.

Daily Life

The Moment Before The Question Arises

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Our rooster crows early. I would say at the crack of dawn except that here, on the north coast of California, dawn doesn’t crack. Here, where the mountains meet the sea, the sky is trapped low, a dimmer switch of cloud or fog elongates the dawn and smudges the distinctions that sharp shadows would bring.

It can make me feel dimwitted that way. I leave a warm bed, a night owl in diffuse light fumbling with jeans and shirt to free a rooster and chickens from their roost and coop.

Recently, though, I’ve noticed some advantage accumulating in this arrangement. Some value slowly showing itself as an unintended consequence of indenturing myself to the needs of chickens. Actually, I think that advantage may be the wrong word here. The emphasis is more on the noticing itself.

I notice, for example, that it’s hard to think. I notice that my senses don’t mind that a bit. There is the caw-caw, tsk-tsk, and bubbling tweet of the morning chorus free of the need to name the birds. There is the traceless, sweeping arc of bird flight. There is the unencumbered quench of cold well water on the tongue. There is the dew seeping into my clogs. And, then, there is the noticing of the noticing.

That’s not to say that thoughts aren’t arising. Somehow, though, the usual foreground importance of concepts popping up takes a back seat to the simple neural activity of all thoughts – thoughts making themselves known by their activity, like the sound of waves on the beach, rather than by their meaning.

I also notice the perfect ordinariness of all this. The just-letting-it-be-ness. Aliveness without add-ons. Just this….

Films/Books, Overcome Difficulties

On Creativity

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Here is a link to a talk on the nature of genius and how we regard that in our society. The talk is by Elizabeth Gilbert whose recent best selling book Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia has brought her much acclaim. In the talk she ponders on why it is that creative people tend to die young, and often tragically.

Thanks Julius for the link.

Teachings

Who Benefits?

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Just sit down and write, don’t even think about an audience. See what comes. You are not trying to be of benefit to others. You write because…that’s just what you are doing. You do it for yourself really. To discover something within the tap, tap, tapping. To draw out, drag out, entice out, allow to uncurl out – what ever’s there. But what if there is nothing there? Trust. Make sitting down and writing what you do each day. Such has been my recent good advice and encouragement to contributors. And contributors to come. I seem so certain. Even sounding like I know what I’m talking about. And I do. I don’t necessarily practice what I say; I aspire to though.

There is something about making a long term commitment and doing ones best to keep on coming back, turning up, sitting down and following through. There seems to be a benefit. Who’s to say what that benefit is. Or who specifically benefits. And more importantly, just why are these questions asked at all?

That direction not to think of the audience might appear strange at first. However I find, when I let the pressure to post slip away (because that is there of course), that I’m often pleasantly surprised at just what slips out. A bit like catching oneself talking aloud, and finding it interesting! Talking to an audience and talking to oneself, in ones own head and on the page, does not use the same voice.

My days and weeks can take me away from here for far too long and I’m sorry about that. Returning is always a joy. Even if, when it comes to it, I’ve still little time to devote to the page. Thankyou for listening to me talking to myself – I do know you are out there. And who on earth talks to themselves thinking that somebody else would benefit! Bonkers.