Catch The Smiling Heart

A job well done…

In a way, my thoughts stem from the values I was brought up with and therefore my departed kin helped create those thoughts and they then live on in my thoughts. The confusion comes from my father, who is away with Alzheimer’s. I say away although he has left us some parts, the physical shell, the sense of humour and the stubbornness. I have thought, that if you take away a personality, what is really left. For myself, what is left is a reminder of my father, a balance of good and bad of course, to my values. Which were instilled by him.

So, my fathers animated shell is a living memorial to him, though no epitaph but good fun with a Spike Milligan type humour. Which brings a tiny bit of him back.

I have had the above text, left as a comment some time ago, waiting for the right moment to bring it into a post. The comment appears slightly edited. Thank you to the author. And to the father too.
Yes, smile with your parents and anybody else that comes to mind. The smile is in ones heart. And that smile is catching!

And while on the subject of Alzheimer’s, in this TED talk Alanna Shaikh thinks about her father who has Alzheimer’s and speaks to, How I’m preparing to get Alzheimer’s. An unusual proactive approach but perhaps more wide spread than one might think.
The following is the last sentence of the comment quoted above.

If you can
smile with your parents.

If they are not with you
think a thought
that will make you
and them

And many thanks to Keith, I think it was you, who left the original comment. I thought I’d post it on the anniversary of my fathers death but that date came and went in mid August. I’ll be down in the cemetery in a day or two and I’ll be breaking a smile as I pass my parents grave.

This post is for you George, sharp as a pin, who died this morning. The smile in my heart now meets yours. Job well done! Well done indeed.

Nearly forgot to thank Julius for the link to the TED talk. Thank you Julius.

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7 thoughts on “Catch The Smiling Heart”

  1. That beautiful undulating hedge bounds the tiny garden in front of Portobello Buddhist Priory, which is close to Edinburgh Scotland. And yes, I clipped the hedge while I was at the priory and several passers by stopped to admire my handy-work. Saying, “Good job”! Clipping hedges and trimming shrubs is my pleasure.

  2. Trouble was I just caught the electrical cord with the sharp end of the clippers. Not cut through to the ‘bone’ but close enough to need repairing. I was not so happy with myself about that but, I must confess, rather glad about the clipped hedge. A man from a few doors down sauntered up with a couple of children in tow saying he had ‘hedge envy’ and could be borrow the clippers. His bushy hedge can be seen in the distance.

  3. Yup, they were my comments, you are very welcome to use them. I used to cut the privet at our house in London. A typical English town garden, picket fence, privet hedge, fine cut lawn and flower beds.
    Though all my trials and tribulations, the hedge cutting was a way to, looking back now, to think and reflect. I would only use the finest sheers, each cut carefully selected. I kept the hedge trim at all times. Now, with the advent of Google Earth I find the hedge has now been exchanged, along with the grass and beds into a car park.
    I have not been able to see my Dad for far too long now, he has had his ups and downs as his body gives up but he knows not to let anyone know, sadly simple things become more complicated. He still has his cheek and laugh, he chats with another service user for hours. All around him we are working to save the establishment he is in and the level of his care. Though having his problems, he seems far happier. They fixed his feet and took all his teeth out, now there are less things to pain him.
    For a while, I worried, as probably he did about what would happen to him. Looking at it now, he is reasonably healthy considering, he can still laugh and joke, chat to others and brings a smile to his carers face. I sort of wonder how bad is it then, is that not a good thing he is doing. My hope for him is that he suffers little pain as he trundles to the buffers and hope he gets another go some time. It is my loss I mourn now I suppose. thanks for getting this far. Keith…

  4. I can see it now Keith, that hedge in London. There was a time when a gentleman took pride in his hedge, much like keeping the beard trimmed! A matter of natural pride, pride in appearance. No bad thing in any age group I’d say.

    We talk about the elderly keeping their dignity. A whole lot of what that means in practice, how that is shown to the world, is having a pride in how one is turned out. Hair combed, clean clothes, buttons fastened, laces tied. That sort of thing. If your dad is able to come up shining, even if not entirely in the way I describe, it can’t be too bad. I do hope he was given some replacement teeth thought!

  5. Sadly he will not get replacement teeth. His carers find it hard to get him up and about in the mornings, the added dentures would be an additional burden for them, I believe they may have enough to do without having to look for lost plates at meal times. The removal of all his teeth have freed him from much pain and he now sleeps better. He now looks so much older, but has given him back a cheekier grin, I have been told he seems to like grinning now.
    He can go without his teeth, they prepare his food and he can now eat ice-cream and jelly, that pleases me as it was one of his favourite puddings.

    Many thanks for using my comments and also your comments. Looking for a house now that has a hedge here in Lancashire, there are still some left, but, one with an open fire would satisfy immensely.

  6. Having been to the dentist recently for an extended stay I have been cracking the one about 2.30 (tooth hurty) to the extent that people are getting board with it.

    I do understand about the denture business, one extra thing to deal with both for him and for the people around him.

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