This morning. Half awake. Half asleep. Caught in that in between time. Half formed thoughts flowing on from a conversation yesterday. We were talking of the difference between giving up in the way one does which is looking down. And giving up in the way of giving up while looking up. Give it up. That’s what I came to, half awake/half asleep this morning. Give it up means giving up while looking up.
My early training would be full of instructions to let it go, offer it up. To be honest such instructions seemed to paralyze rather than move me on. Now give it up speaks more clearly of how it is. Not the giving up of despair more….let me think now…..more that giving is center stage, gratitude is center stage. Not that I think grateful thoughts all day long. Such thoughts hardly come up at all. Giving it up has a powerful connotation, for me, of release. Of release into activity. No namby pamby (which was the younger me) will I won’t I. Ought to. Should do.
Increasingly I find myself at a loss. Lost in the labyrinths of words when words, bless ’em, are what we have. Lost without them, lost with them. But let’s not get into that trap. The lost, tired, where am I and what’s to do thoughts are common to all. They, such thoughts, are the trap. Or can become so. They call out, come wrap yourself up in what you know, wrap yourself up so warm and cozy so even your eyes can no longer see, your ears can no longer hear. And you can no longer move or speak.
If all you think you know
Is all you know
And that uncomfortable/comfortable knowing
Has you wrapped up all warm and cozy…
Then, literally
Open your eyes
Allow what is there
To be there
Literally.
Beyond your eyeballs
Behind your eyeballs
Where is the boundry?
Give up – look up!
There is then, nothing more than this…it is enough.
Well, this might work for a handful of readers. And if it does great, and if it doesn’t don’t worry. Look out for your wisdom as it races past you. Follow it knowing it is not yours to hold and keep. Give it up!
