He said, My brother is good at visiting now. He learnt how from seeing our father regularly after his stroke. At first he’d say, I don’t know what to do, or say. Don’t know if he is taking anything in or even understands me anymore.

I then said, Just sit there quietly if necessary. So my brother learnt how to visit. When he came to see me I was asleep, so he sat quietly in that chair. Then I woke up and we talked.

Hospital visiting: giving of oneself in seriousness, in sadness, in service, in silence, in the moment, in daftness and laughter. This evening I arrived heavy and left lighter. Arrived readied to give and left having shared.