Suicide In The Family Or No

Observation tells us that suicide runs in families, though whether the cause is nature or nurture is harder to know. For myself, I can say that my mother’s suicide has given me knowledge – unwelcome knowledge, but knowledge nonetheless. One element of that knowledge is the possibility of suicide. Like drink to an alcoholic, it is always there in the background, always an option. But another part of that knowledge is an understanding of the actuality of suicide and its consequences for those left behind.

From ‘Tell the boys I loved them’, in the Guardian earlier this month.

Thanks to Do They Hurt, and my walking companion, for pointing out this article. It’s thought provoking, for those who have a suicide in their family or no.

A couple of years ago I did a funeral for somebody who hung himself. Ones heart goes out to all who have to embrace the chilling fact of suicide. And live with the chill for the rest of their lives. Yes, suicide brings a chill, and raises Great Compassion too.

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3 thoughts on “Suicide In The Family Or No”

  1. Not sure how to comment here.
    This is VERY thiought provoking. It made me stop and remember people I have known who have commited suicide and those failed suicides that I have nursed.
    It does call for Great Compassion and the wisdom not to judge.

    gassho

    Norman

  2. “For myself, I can say that my mother’s suicide has given me knowledge – unwelcome knowledge, but knowledge nonetheless. One element of that knowledge is the possibility of suicide. Like drink to an alcoholic, it is always there in the background, always an option. But another part of that knowledge is an understanding of the actuality of suicide and its consequences for those left behind.”

    Did I write this or just read it? Could have been either, but it does reflect exactly what I think, having had a mother who killed herself when I was just 19yrs old. I do suffer from depression, and suicide is something I often think about, but cannot do because I know what lifelong pain it causes those left behind. Thanks Rev Mugo for raising this important issue.

  3. Suicide has had quite an influence on my life. I have known several friends who have killed themselves. I have tried to learn from their lives, for example how I can support people so they are able to choose to live – to find a way to be (gentle) with themselves. At the same time I try to respect that choice if it has been made or at least be compassionate to it. Sometimes I see suicide as the ultimate protest, that we all need to listen to as a community when someone in our midst chooses this escape route. How can we learn from this how can we live together more peacefully and in ways that allows us to regroup, heal and grow again?

    So many people struggle with ‘demons’ that tell them they are not good enough. How do we foster an atmosphere of awareness that embraces these demons and quells their terror? I think talking about suicide and suicidal thoughts can be helpful in making the subject less fearful. Is an accepting approach helpful towards suicidal thoughts? I suppose its that middle way of acknowledging and holding lightly (self destructive thoughts) without giving in or trying to suppress such thoughts. Ok enough talk I am going to go and make lunch!

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