Category Archives: Teachings

Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Permeable Being

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Here is Brenda’s reflections on what she refers to as the permeable being.

I don’t know which came first, the sense that time isn’t consecutive or the understanding that there is vast space when ego-voice stops trying to run the show.

A couple or more months back I was stuck. You know the place, – that morass of doubts and resentments, where it is so easy to get bogged down. I heard in my head, You stand in your own shadow. Look inwards. To my shame my first response was irritation, a kind of I don’t know how, and even if I did, what use would it be, and then, to my surprise it became, albeit grudgingly, Alright then, I’ll try. Not exactly a whole hearted response but the Eternal is patient and somehow it freed things up.

In Rules for Meditation it says, Look inwards and advance directly along the road that leads to the Mind. At one level I understood what this was pointing to, but then there was the stubborn ego-me who tried to work out the how’s and why’s and wanted there to be a logical explanation, a kind of road map. It always seemed that the Inward space would be limited and when I tried Looking in a literal way it was like coming to a dead end. And then something remarkable occured. It was as if the questioning voice left and the ME that you and all the monks are talking to, guiding, – the Buddha-me I guess – could come into its’ own so to speak. Going inward just happened and I saw limitless space and I realised that there was no inside or outside. In a manner of speaking neither was there a me.

Given the unreliability of my memory I wrote the following as each thing showed itself so that I wouldn’t forget.

The “Space” outside and the “Space” inside is not different.
I do not have to go “outside” in order to move,
nor is going “inside” a not moving.
This being is permeable.
There is neither “Inside” nor “Outside”.
All is one.

Later I added the next bit. It kind of came up to be looked at. It feels OK but still, I’d like you to check it.

IT is not out there to be aimed for, reached for, searched for.
IT is already here, inside, waiting to be found.
I don’t attain IT, like a prize,
IT gives Itself freely, to all beings,
Including me.

With Bows,

In answer…I’ve not much to say to be honest. We have talked in person, you have taken Refuge, which is good. As with everything that comes, and especially insights into fundamental truths, it’s so important to just keep on a goin’. While at the same time, and this is especially important, not dismiss what comes to you as being the product of an over active imagination. So what does one do, what does anybody do with such insights? File away for a rainy day to get out and have beautiful memories? We both know that isn’t what’s good, of course. My advice is to just keep on going, and don’t look back. And when you do seem to, remember it is just the past coming into the present – to teach.

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Information, Out and About, Teachings

A Still Place For Reflection

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I’m so delighted to point you to the work of a Dutch artist, a practicing member of the OBC community in The Netherlands, who has created a wonderful contemplative space in a nursing home in Delfshaven. The site has just recently been translated into both English and German and is, in turn, the work of another Dutch woman artist in our congregation. What talent! I’ve known them both for many years, I can’t say enough good things about them. And here is a link to the home page of the site I’m referring to. Great poem from Basho on there

‘There is little place for reflection in our society, so what I had in mind was to literally and figuratively make room for quiet contemplation here, in the middle of a busy nursing home in multicultural Delfshaven Rotterdam.’ Meulendijks decided not to place a work of art in the space, but to make the space itself into a work of art. The goal was to create a place that excludes no one due to religious affiliation or physical challenges. First, she constructed a detailed model to adapt the existing space to these purposes. She altered the structure and layout and employed motifs from religious architecture to create a visually subdued, serene experience for visitors. Her choice to use circle and dome patterns, as universal spiritual symbols, places the emphasis not on our differences but on the shared human experience of an inner life. All the same, Meulendijks designed mobile furniture and liturgical objects to allow different religious groups to temporarily tailor the chapel to their specific needs. In addition to traditional craftsmanship and handwork, the artist and her team also made use of anachronistic details in the chapel – not in an attempt to resurrect the past, but rather to make all sense of time disappear.

The result is a public space that gives visitors the seclusion they need to listen to the silence.

From The Zorg Compas Chapel, Rotterdam.

See more of Ingeborg’s work and schedule of exhibitions on her web site.

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Daily Life, Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Opening Things Up

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I have a tendency, I guess we all have, to close down any thoughts and feelings about something that happens into one, usually quite judgmental, opinion.

So, the comment: I can imagine the way you live must be very relaxing, not worrying about anyone else, had led to some pretty negative judgments of my own suitability to be telling people about what Buddhism means in practice.

This process can be justified to ourselves as a focusing on what is really going on – when it actually feels a lot like a closing down of seeing things. If in response to this I can reverse the process and instead open up the associated insights and realisations that come when we just look and ask – then what do I find?

Well, I yes wonder if I gave a misleading impression on the extent to which, as Buddhists, we care about others;

and: this was the only comment out of a large bundle that I was picking up on, and conceivably the only one with which I could find a way of criticising myself;

and: maybe my fear of being misunderstood isn’t really about being understood or not at all but is actually about being judged and criticised and thought to be hopeless;

and: I remembered a question during the class which went something like ‘isn’t it unfriendly to sit and face a wall with your backs to the the people who you are meditating with” – what a good question! and my answer was something about how we have to work on our own stuff and not worry about what other people are doing AND that somehow this helps us all and doesn’t feel like we are cutting them off;

and: maybe that was what she meant and maybe there is a sense in which we don’t have to worry about other people even when we are helping them;

and: I remember being 12 and worrying a lot about what other people thought and felt, and isn’t that sad; and in fact isn’t it sad that I still worry a lot about what people think; and wouldn’t it be a relief not to carry this burden of worry and related fear.

and: it goes on.. and on…

And I find myself with this collection of perspectives and insights all laid out in front of me, and somehow the original concern seems to dissolve.

I used to think of this opening up process as a bit like following a thread that would lead somewhere, and often it did lead to thoughts and feelings long buried and not acknowledged. And thinking of it like that seems now to be too closed mind again – looking too much for some single underlying cause. So now I think of it much more like pulling a thread and the whole jumper just unraveling.

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Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Imposters?

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Even although I invited them in, gladly, now I’m slightly put out by their presence. They are not me. They write about things I don’t write about. And what’s more they don’t write like me! In the future there will, no doubt, be more contributors taking up space. What to do? What to do?

Can I, and I guess that makes it a we since you are part of the home page of Jade, handle this growing number of people making posts. Can we accept these contributor people and what they contribute without submitting ourselves to; a dull resignation, or to nursing a dualistic mind which picks and chooses, one person over another. Lets see now, there are other options. There could be a move to evict them! On my part or on yours. Out of this house! Away to your own place! Write your own blog! No. We are tolerant people, and still there is a sense of something coming in from the outside. The other has joined the me. What to do, what to do?

Ever wondered how marriages/partnerships, or any human relationship survive? There is always the me and the not me, and the not at all like me, tension. The subtext can go something like: I love you, but keep out of my house, or as it is put into words: I’m not ready for long term commitment right now. Contributors and guest posts however are here to stay. Until something changes which will happen, sooner or later. In the mean time, there is commitment on all sides to continue to have guest contributors. What to do, what to do?

I’ve some thoughts to help deal with so called impostors. Here’s internal practice you might like to adopt. The tension of inside/outside is at the very heart of sitting still. Most people think their thoughts are noisy impostors which must be evicted before peace can be found within ones body/mind. Thoughts are not like aliens from another planet, however tempting it might be to relate to ones inner world in that way! They come and go in response to stimulus, triggered from within ones own being, as well as from the stimulating world we all live within. Even up a mountain, away from it all, there is still the shrieking of birds and the fear of..impostors? Perhaps.

In the mean time: read, sit still while reading, listen internally, listen to the wind as it blows through the temple of your body/mind (your home), allow yourself to hear the rattling of windows and the banging of doors. This is active reading, active listening and active sitting still. It’s sitting still within conditions. In this case the arising and falling of thoughts in your mind, as you sit and read this.

Have fun.

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Daily Life, Out and About, Overcome Difficulties, Teachings

Standing By The Well

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The day started off with a series of minor irritations. Small stuff really, but noticeable because they were adding up and starting to highlight the major irritation: I had to run errands and go shopping in at least four or five different locations. Not my cup of tea.

I don’t consider myself a lazy or inactive person. I’m generally not sitting unless I’m meditating, reading, or watching a movie. Most of my friends prefer to walk and talk unless there’s tea involved. My favorite type of day is to step into the back acre and start walking around the garden. There’s always something that needs doing, and then something else, and then something else…. So a pleasant day is moving from chore to chore, listening to the birdsong, chatting with the chickens, and taking in the weather of the day.

I was determined to make short work of the errands and get back to the more relaxed unfurling of arising chores. But then one of the nose pads on my glasses came off as I was looking for my car keys. I know from experience that a few hours of metal poking the bridge of my nose would soon be painful and even more of a nuisance. Another stop would be required.

I set off for the optometrist’s office brimming with resentment and irritation. But better the burr of irritation than hiding it to myself and letting it fester into anger. I kept it away from other driver’s, pedestrians, and cars with bumper stickers I didn’t agree with. Sort of like limping for awhile after stubbing your toe, aware of the discomfort but patiently taking the next step.

I pulled into the optometrist’s parking lot and a convenient parking spot presented itself. It was a good sign but I wasn’t sure I wanted to let go of the irritation quite yet; what else might show up? The receptionist was warm and genuinely, well, receptive. My irritation was beginning to melt and I considered thinking about what I had to do the rest of the day in an attempt to drum it up again. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has irritation in their repertoire of defenses.

And then she came into the room and called my name. I thought perhaps it was a play of sunlight causing her brightness. Clearly this young women was happy, healthy, and very, very pregnant. She had a shine as penetrating and clear as a flame reflected in a diamond.

We walked to her workstation. Nose pads were briefly commented on. They didn’t seem all that problematic to either of us. I asked her when she was due. Less than a month, she said and beamed. Let me get you those new nose pads, she said, I’ll be right back.

I sat at her desk basking in the great grace that radiated from her immersion in her situation. It was a blessing for me to be in the presence of someone drawing so deeply from the Well.

She returned with my glasses and I tried them on and they fit fine. We looked at each other with this sort of I see what you see recognition. Peaceful, energized. I told her that I wished her well with the delivery and wished her and the baby good health. I asked her if it was her first. She smiled and said, Yes, it is and every good wish is welcome, thank you.

We shook hands and I left the office, the remaining errands now less urgent.

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